Neightbours
by DawnAngel14
Summary: AU in which Robin moves into a new appartment and meets some strange neightbours. "Luffy engaged, Usopp and the marimo dating... I feel like... I'm going to die alone." "You won't die alone, cook-san." Sanji/Robin, some hints of ZoNa, LuVi and UsoKa.
1. In which Robin moves in

I started another story.

I know, I'm a horrible person, I'm already behind in 75% of my stories and I start yet another long-fic. But I just couldn't resist it. The idea was too tempting and there isn't enough SanRob love around here! There will be hints of Zoro/Nami, Luffy/Vivi and Usopp/Kaya at moments, because I need most of the characters to be dating. And I love those couples. Both are equally valid reasons. Honestly!

Enough of this, let's get this party started, shall we?

* * *

><p>The tall, tan and, specially, attractive woman got down from the bus. She knew some of the men in the background had been commenting about her -about her butt to be more precise- but she didn't even seem to care. The black-haired beauty just started walking from the bus stop to the point where she should meet them, lifting her purple cowboy hat up so she could see properly. As regards her outfit, she wore a stunning purple dress that highlighted all of her attributes. No wonder there was gossip about her beauty.<p>

She crossed the street as she examined the building she was walking towards, which stood there in the middle of Grand Line Avenue. It had three stories and was white, yet it seemed a bit old, so due to the passing of time there were various cracks around the building. Nevertheless, it seemed strong and reliable, so she didn't fear it would collapse. And it wasn't ugly or expensive, so there weren't really any problems with her decision. Now she was standing in front of a tall man with broad shoulders, whose hand she shook.

"We finished installing all your furniture and other stuff." the man informed her. "Here's your key, have a good day."

"Thank you. Good day to you too." the woman took the key and he quickly left with the rest of his men.

She then turned around, slightly smirking.

"Aren't you going to come out anytime soon?" she asked.

A young man came out from behind the wall she had been looking towards, for some reason he was laughing. His hair was black and ruffled, with a straw hat on top of it. His eyes were just as dark as his hair, yet together with his wide grin it gave the impression that he was the happiest person on Earth. As regards clothing, he just wore simple sandals, blue shorts and a red, sleeveless shirt.

"Shishishi, you caught me! Do you have extra eyes or something like that?" he asked as he got nearer.

"I am quite perceptive, I have no need for extra eyes."

"Are you the new neightbour?" he asked, looking towards the small bag in her hands, which contained practically all of her clothes.

"That's correct."

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy. I live in 2A with my brother Ace." the black-haired guy extended his hand to shake hers.

"Nico Robin." she accepted his hand shake.

"Robin, like the hero! So cool!" Luffy exclaimed. He then suddenly grabbed her hand. "Come, you must meet everyone!"

And before she could stop him, they were hopping up the stairs.

Robin didn't quite enjoy human contact, she tended to avoid it. That's why she didn't know how to react to Luffy's excited proposal and actions, and she couldn't help it, letting herself be lead by the young man. However, there was something she noticed, they were using the stairs instead of the lift.

"Wouldn't it be wiser to take the elevator?" the brunette suggested.

"It hasn't been working for years." he answered. "I don't even remember why."

Before she knew it, they were in the first floor. They walked towards their right and Luffy knocked furiously in appartment 1A. Robin remembered her new home was 3B, so it seemed she didn't have a choice but to follow Luffy, she couldn't just ditch him like that, it would be rude. Plus, it would be interesting to know the neightbours, in case she ever needed a favour or something of the sort.

The door was finally opened by a man with blue hair and an excessively big body, obviously the product of hours of work at the gym. His eyes were hid behind sunglasses, and his unbottoned hawaiian shirt and his speedo left little of his anatomy to the imagination. The woman wondered if this was his everyday-look or they had caught him on a very uncomfortable situation.

"Hey straw hat-bro!" the man greeted. She then looked towards the new neightbour. "Who is she?"

"Hey Franky! She's Robin, she just moved into Bon-chan's appartment so I'm introducing her to everyone!" Luffy quickly explained.

Robin didn't like people to speak for her, so she stepped into the conversation and smiled at the big man.

"Hello, I'm Nico Robin." he responded by lifting his sunglasses.

"The name's Franky." he smiled back. "Count on me if you need anything."

"It's not true, your name is Cutty Flam." Luffy pointed out.

"No! That's a stupid name, Franky is much cooler!" Franky protested.

"I'm guessing he prefers to be called Franky." Robin deduced, smiling at the black-haired young man besides her.

"Are Brook and Chopper here?" Luffy asked then.

"No, sorry straw hat-bro. Brook's gone to practice, and Chopper is at the hospital."

"Aw that's no fun!" Luffy pouted. "Well, bye Franky!"

He ran towards the other side of the pathway and started knocking on the door of appartment 1B. Robin just giggled at his enthusiasm, while Franky sighed and after saying goodbye to the new neightbour returned to his own place. Nico Robin walked quietly towards Luffy.

Eventually, a thin, blonde lady opened the door. Next to her stood a young man with black, curly hair. Luffy smiled upon seeing them.

"Hi Usopp! Hey Kaya!" Luffy exclaimed. Quite loudly.

"Hello, Luffy-san." Kaya greeted him warmly.

Usopp, however, wasn't very cheerful with his visit.

"Luffy! I told a hundred times, it's a small appartment! Just knock once like a normal human being!"

"Don't be so harsh, Usopp, I'm sure Luffy-san will keep it in mind for the next time." the blonde replied with a smile.

"That's what you said last time. You are too good Kaya." he sighed, Kaya's cheeks flashing a quick blush at the compliment.

"Oh yeah. She's Robin, I'm showing her the building." Luffy remembered, stepping aside to reveal the woman behind him.

"You must have bought the place from Bentham." he shook her hand. "I'm Usopp, and this is my girlfriend Kaya."

"Let me know if there's anything you need." Kaya added.

"I'm sorry I can't get you out of this. Luffy can be a bit... difficult at times." Usopp commented.

"No problem. He is indeed quite... amusing." the brunette smiled.

"Oi Robin! Are you coming?" the boy asked, already at the stairs.

"Yes, straw hat-san. Good day to you both, I'm sorry we interrupted your intimate act."

Robin left while the couple flushed three different shades of red simoultaneously.

"How the hell did she know?" Usopp protested.

"Well, you are shirtless..." Kaya pointed out.

Back to the stairs, Luffy was hopping up each step while Robin followed quietly and still amused at the man's actions. He acted so recklessly and carefree, and did he know actually everyone in the building? She felt the need to ask that question.

"Do you know everyone in this building?"

"Yes." Luffy looked at her with a wide grin across his face. "Everyone here is very friendly and nice, we're all friends! We're like nakamas! Why?"

"Just curious."

They reached the second floor. Now Luffy ran towards the first appartment on sight, but this time, instead of knocking, he just took out a small key from his pocket and opened the door. It seemed this was his own appartment.

He motioned Robin to come inside and she followed him, still surprised of her unusual behaviour. Since when was she so friendly towards people at all?

"Hey Ace! This is the new neightbour, Robin!"

Robin entered to find a young man who slightly resembled Luffy and was practically naked, just wearing his underwear. He covered himself with a pillow he spotted nearby, or at least covered his private area.

"Luffy, don't enter just like that!"

"Why?" Luffy was genuinely puzzled and the woman couldn't help but laugh lightly at the boy's stupidity. "Anyways, this is Nico Robin, she's living in Bon-chan's appartment! This is my big brother Ace! He's really cool!"

"I can see that." she smiled. "Perhaps we should go Luffy. I believe your brother is busy at the time."

"Really? Doing what?" he asked curious and completely oblivious.

"Ace-kun! Aren't you coming?" a female voice rang from his bedroom.

"I'll be right there!" Ace shouted back.

"Who was she?" Luffy innocently asked.

"A friend of mine from work." his brother replied.

He looked at the woman with pleading eyes. She returned him an mysterious smile, which was quite chracteristical of her, and turned around, intending to leave the place.

"Shall we continue the tour, straw hat-san?"

"Sure! Vivi's place is up next!" he yelled, running across the hall. Then he stopped and looked back at Robin. "And call me Luffy! My friends call me Luffy!"

Ace muttered a quick thank you and Robin left, shutting the door firmly behind her. By the time she got by appartment 2B, the door was wide open and Luffy was on the ground, the orange-haired girl who had emerged from the appartment had treated him like a punching bag.

"Only knock once, idiot!" she yelled furiously.

"Ow, I'm sorry Nami" he apologized while rubbing the huge bumb that appeared on his head.

"Nami-san!" another woman, this one with long, light blue hair and seemingly a bit younger, came from the appartment.

"Sorry Vivi, but he needed to learn the lesson." Nami sighed and now looked towards the raven-haired woman behind the man whose ass she had just kicked. "And who are you?"

"She's Nico Robin! She's the new neightbour!" Luffy jumped up, apparently already recovered from the attack.

"Oh, I saw the moving today. I'm Nami, and this is my roommate, Vivi." they shook hands.

"My name's Nefertari Vivi. Tell me if you need anything sometime." Vivi smiled sweetly at her new neightbour.

"Sure. Thank you." Robin smiled back.

"Vivi's my girlfriend!" Luffy added, hugging her.

"Lu... Luffy!" Vivi stuttered, somewhat embarrased of the display of affection in public.

It was then when she noticed the ring in Vivi's hand. Yet she didn't see any in Luffy's. Did that mean...

"They're engaged." Nami clarified, noticing her observation. "Since yesterday, to be precise."

"Then I must say congratulations." Robin commented, looking at the couple.

"Thanks Robin! You're cool!" Luffy laughed.

"Come inside, I'll get you some ice on that bump." Vivi said, dragging him in.

"But I wanted to show Robin..."

"I'll take her. I'm going up anyway." Nami offered, leaving the place and closing the door behind her. She looked at the other woman. "Sorry you were caught by Luffy. He's an idiot. But a lovable idiot."

"I can see that." Robin observed. "How long have you known him?"

"Since I moved in. He dragged me around the whole place like he did with you." Nami rolled her eyes, remembering the moment, while they started climbing up the stairs. "Well, at least there's finally a new neightbour."

"I did notice okama-san was hurried to finish the sale. Was there any legal problem involved that I should know of?"

"Well... there was this restraining order Sanji had against him. And Zoro too. Bon Clay was... strange. His dance and insinuations got on the boys nerves."

"I see."

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an archeology teacher. I was an archeologist in the past, now I intend to teach younger minds that old history can be as interesting as the modern."

"Cool. Where do you teach?"

"Enies Lobby University." Robin answered, then looked at her curious. "What about you?"

"I'm an architect. I work for Arlong Park." Nami said proudly.

She had reasons. Arlong Park was one of the most powerful companies in the country, she certainly had the right to be proud of such an accomplishment.

"That's impressive for someone your age."

"I know, right? Thank you!" Nami turned to her with a happy, cheerful smirk. "Some of these idiots don't recognize my progress. Here we are."

Nami walked towards appartment 3A and knocked twice. There was some yelling on the other side of the door, two males was what Robin could deduce. Eventually, the door was opened by a tall, green-haired man, shirtless and exposing to everyone his body... his very nice hot body...

"You were working out, moron?" Nami asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You don't seem to mind, witch." he smirked as he planted a swift kiss on her lips.

"Ah, Nami-swan! Thanks for granting us with your divine presense, dear angel of beauty!" a voice rang on the background, and a blond, good-looking man appeared from behind and exited the appartment.

"Hello to you too, Sanji-kun." Nami rolled her eyes at his antics, separating from the green-haired man and looking at Robin. Then the other two noticed her existance.

"And who is this incredibly gorgeous goddess of beauty who visits us mortals?" the blond asked.

His friend, however, had a different question.

"Who yhe hell are you?"

"That's no way to ask a lady's name, shitty marimo!"

"Shut the hell up, dart-"

"You two shut up!" Nami yelled, then replied in a softer voice. "She's Nico Robin. She's moving across the hall. Robin, this is Roronoa Zoro, my boyfriend."

"Hey." he waved his hand at her and she nodded, putting on a polite smile.

"And this is... where the hell did he go?"

As if on cue, the other man emerged again from the appartment, having left at the moment of introductions. He carried a cup of coffee on his hands.

"Ah, love." the man sighed, swirling around her, hearts on his eyes. "You look so stunning I can't help but give you this to welcome you to the neightbourhood, Robin-swan. Or should I call you Robin-chwan? Which do you prefer?"

"That's just Sanji." Nami and Zoro looked at each other, both slightly annoyed by his antics, while Sanji handed her the coffee. She accepted it with a warm smile.

"Ignore him." Zoro adviced. "He turns into an idiot when there are boobs around."

"What was that, marimo?" Sanji turned at him, all his sweetness now transformed into anger.

"Thank you for the coffee." Robin said while sipping a bit of it. "It's delicious. And thank you for showing me the building, architect-san."

"Nami." she instructed. "I like friends to call me by my name."

"I'll keep that in mind." Robin smiled.

"You should join us for dinner, Robin-chwan!" Sanji exclaimed then. "You must be really tired from the moving, I wouldn't forgive myself if I don't invite you over."

"That's very kind, but I wouldn't want to be a burden..."

"It's no burden." Nami assured her. "Sanji may not seem like it, but he's the best cook in the whole city. You must try his food, it's great."

"Nami-san is so cute when she's complimenting me!"

"It's no problem to us, right Zoro?" she glared at her boyfriend.

"It's fine. And bring back the cup later."

"I will. Thank you very much." she smiled.

"No problem. Now, let me see how you've been working out." Nami turned towards Zoro, who upon hearing this just smirked.

Before Sanji could react, Nami had already entered and locked the door behind her. The blond chef couldn't help but curse at the door. Through no one, except for Robin, could hear him.

"I must go unpack. I'll see you later, cook-san." she gave a smile and turned around to leave for her appartment at last.

"Robin-chan." he stopped her. "Is there any food you are allergic to? Are there any meals you don't like?"

"Not particularly. I guess I'm not a fan of sweet food, but I doubt the dinner will be composed of sweets." Robin replied.

"Ok. I'll go get the ingredients!" he yelled, kissing her hand before dashing down the stairs.

"What an interesting building." Robin commented, still smirking, while she finally entered her appartment.


	2. In which Nami and Zoro fight

Robin admired herself in the mirror before leaving her bathroom. The appartment was ok, nothing fancy, two bedrooms -through one was completely empty, since it wasn't being used- one bathroom and the kitchen. The living room had her big, black couch, in front of which stood the tv. Or what was supposed to be the tv, since it was still on the box. Most of the electronic machines were in their respective boxes, unpacked, since she didn't have any intention of dying electrocuted and settled for waiting for a guy she knew to install the cable in a few days.

She didn't even watch much tv. She preferred reading.

Before leaving the appartment, she retrieved from the kitchen the white cup her neightbour had so kindly given to her. He was strange, all of them were, but curiously interesting. Her last place hadn't been as welcoming as this building. No, on her previous building across the hall lived some guy named Foxy who was truly annoying, even for her, whose patience was quite impressive.

Back to reality, Robin exited the appartment and was greeted by a lot of yelling. She also spotted Usopp and Luffy with their heads stuck on Zoro and Sanji's appartment, apparently listening to the screams carefully, although that wasn't necessary given the high volume of the discussion.

"Since when are you so damn possessive?" Nami yelled furiously.

"I'm not possessive, but that guy was totally trying to get into your pants!" Zoro's voice matched her volume.

"It's not my fault I'm attractive! But it was his problem and I didn't get near him! Did you _need_ to punch him?"

"He was planning something. I just knew it."

"I don't care! That's no reason to punch him across the whole conference hall! Arlong's going to kill me! And it's all your fault!"

"Then maybe _you_ shouldn't have dressed so provocative!"

"Are you calling me a _slut_?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Your choice of words is irrelevant, is what you imply what matters!"

"Don't insult Nami-san, shitty marimo!"

"YOU STAY THE HELL OUT OF THIS!" both voices roared in unison.

Robin was about to turn around and leave. She could always order some pizza, it seemed the atmosphere was a bit tense for that promised dinner. However, before she did, Luffy launched himself backwards and ended up next to her. Usopp wasn't that fortunate, and the door threw him against the wall as it was opened by the blonde cook.

"Why were you eavesdropping, shitheads?" Sanji asked, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Shishishishi." Luffy laughed, standing up and placing his straw hat back on his head. "Vivi said there were yellings! So I came to check. Usopp came too."

"Jerk, you could've broken my nose!" Usopp yelled. "And you were the one who dragged me here in the first place, Luffy!"

"Oh Robin-chan! I didn't see you!" Sanji immediately apologized, completely ignoring Usopp.

"It's ok. Maybe we should leave this dinner for some other time." Robin suggested.

"Absolutely not! I wouldn't allow a beauty such as yourself to starve to death because of that shitty marimo!"

"As... flattering as that is, there is no need for concern. I'll just order food. Why don't you join me, cook-san?"

"It would be an honor to accompany you, Robin-chwan!" he exclaimed. "Just let me get the ingredients and I'll cook in your appartment!"

"That's not necessary. We can just-"

"No! Sanji's food is way better than anything ordered!" Luffy suddenly entered the conversation. "I'll go get Vivi and we'll go too!"

"The dinner was for four people actually, it would be a pity if ingredients were wasted." she turned to face him. "Right, cook-san?"

Robin smiled and Sanji felt his dream of a perfect, romantic dinner with his lovely new neightbour suddenly shatter into a million pieces. Luffy ran downstairs to inform his girlfriend of the dinner, and the historian turned towards the other young man in the hallway, as Sanji flew back into the appartment.

"Long nose-kun, will you be joining us?" Robin politely asked.

"Um... no." he declined, rubbing his still-wounded nose. "I promised Franky and Chopper we would go to bowling today, so..."

"Sounds interesting. Have fun." Robin smiled as Usopp stood up and left.

Luffy emerged from the stairs, dragging with him a confused and embarrassed Vivi. At the same time, before anyone could say anything, Sanji exited his own appartment, carrying two bags in which he held the precious soon-to-be dinner.

"Nami-san's really furious. And stupid swordsman's not helping."

"They always argue. It's going to be ok." Luffy grinned at his statement.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK FAT IN THESE JEANS?" the orange-haired woman's roar shook the whole building.

Everyone on the hallway ran into Robin's appartment.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Sanji-san, do you need any help?" Vivi asked, entering the kitchen.

"Oh I wouldn't allow such beautiful hands to get dirty with my job!" Sanji immediatly replied. "It's all going to be finished soon, Vivi-chwan."

"Isn't there anything I can help you with?"

"Well, now that you mention it... could you keep your shitty boyfriend away from the kitchen?" That said, he kicked the young man, sending him flying back to the living room.

"Yes, of course."

Robin looked up from her book to watch Luffy jump up, apparently already recovered from the kick.

"Didn't work again?"

"No, but I'll try again." he shrugged.

"Luffy, please don't." Vivi stopped him. "If you keep bothering Sanji-san, we'll never eat dinner."

"Oh, ok." he understood. Apparently.

"So, Robin, are you from this city? Or are you new in town?" Vivi asked, sitting down next to her. Luffy sat on the ground and started playing with his straw hat, spinning it on his hands.

"No, I'm actually from somewhere else." Robin said, closing her book. "But I moved to this city when I was young. Ever since, this city has been my home."

"How old where you?"

"Eight."

"I see. Was it due to parents' business? That's the reason I moved here in the first place... through it was to a completely different part of it."

"No, that's not the reason." Robin denied with a smile. "I lived alone."

Vivi's eyes went wide. Robin had been living on her own on this city... ever since she was eight... did that mean she had no family? Was she alone? And if that was the case... did she really make such questions? Oh, this was going to be awkward. And could be hurtful. She was wise enough to drop the subject.

"Hey Sanji, is the food ready yet?" Luffy suddenly screamed, bored again. Vivi mentally thanked him for breaking the awkward silence.

"I'll let you know when it is!" the cook roared furiously.

"May I ask what are we having for dinner, cook-san?"

"Of course my lovely angel! We're having cheese fondue, with all sort of exquisit side dishes... and meat for the idiot."

"Yay!" celebrated Luffy, apparently unaffected by the insult.

"Sounds delicious." Robin smiled. Sanji melted instantly.

"Say Robin," Luffy spoke up. "Why don't you have a tv?"

"I barely watch it." she responded simply. "I prefer reading, to be honest."

"Really? I thought it was boring."

"I can assure you it is quite interesting." the young boy snatched her book from her hands, examining it with great curiosity. "It's about the adventure of two explorers who arrived to a cursed island in search for treasure."

"Adventure? Treasure?" Luffy's eyes sparkled. "Books are cool!"

"They are, indeed." Robin chuckled.

Vivi watched the whole scene, her eyes about to pop out of her skull. Was Luffy _reading_? Really? He knew _how_ to read? He was showing interest in a _book_?

She wondered if the apocalypse had decided to skip one year and arrive before 2012.

"Robin-chwan! Vivi-chwan! Your delicious meal is ready!" Sanji announced. "Your stuff's ready too, Luffy."

"Finally!" Luffy left the book and ran towards the young cook. Vivi just released a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"Something wrong?"

"N... nothing. Let's go eat."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"And when I finished eating that piece of meat, I chewed metal and... there it was... the ring." Vivi concluded emotionally, looking at the ring in her hand.

"Lovely story." Robin commented. "The meat was a rather... original touch, I might add."

"It was Sanji's idea!" Luffy informed enthusiastically.

"My idea was to put it in the champagne, shitty kid!" Sanji yelled as he started picking up the dishes. "You're the uncivilized moron who couldn't stop thinking about meat!"

"But still, I liked it." Vivi butted in, stopping the argument before it got any further. "If it hadn't been like that... it wouldn't have been Luffy, right?"

"You don't have to do the dishes, cook-san, this isn't a restaurant..."

"Nonsense! I can't allow a beautiful goddess such as yourself to do a filthy chore such as washing! Please allow me to do so!"

Before Robin could even think of a reply, Sanji and the dishes had disappeared into the kitchen, and soon water could be heard, indicating the washing had started. Vivi chuckled at his antics.

"That's Sanji-san for you."

"Yeah, he can be weird like that." Luffy added.

"I heard you, shithead!"

"Nami says the same thing, too." he added, completely ignoring Sanji's yell. "Because Sanji kept pictures of her and stuff like that."

"Oh dear."

"Die, shithead, die!" Sanji yelled, appearing on the living room in the blink of an eye and delivering various kicks towards Luffy while he dodged.

It took all of Robin's willpower to not burst into laughter. Instead, she just produced the smallest hint of a smile on her lips. How could it be that these people were so incredibly interesting and amusing at the same time? She felt like the entire building was a box of surprises, you never know what they're going to come up with next, but you definitively want to be there to find it out.

As Sanji retreated to the kitchen, mumbling curses all the way, Vivi glanced at her watch and was horrified when she noticed the hour.

"Luffy! Weren't we supposed to pick up Ace half an hour ago?"

"Oh really?" Luffy asked, completely oblivious to the time. "Oh no! Ace!"

And the young man ran off. Vivi shouted a bunch of apologies Robin barely understood and ran off after him, grabbing her jacket in the process.

Robin didn't particularly care. She knew the life here was lively, so she couldn't be angry about an insignificant thing like that, who would? Instead, she just found it amusing, and it made her chuckle slightly. After closing the door the couple had forgotten to close in they rush, she walked towards the kitchen carrying her glass of wine with her, to find the blonde almost finished, the fondue pot being the only thing left to clean.

"You sure clean fast, cook-san."

"Oh, Robin-chan!" he turned around to see her walk in. "I thought I heard something, did those two go?"

"Yes. Both of them are gone to pick up straw ha- Luffy-san's brother."

Sanji felt his heart beating faster and faster until he thought it would explode. They were alone? He was alone with the charming, and sexy, new neightbour? Oh dear, how could he _not_ feel the way he felt? She was just so beautiful and there was that air of mystery that surrounded her, she was just so... It took all of his willpower not to spontaneously throw himself over her. Figuratively, of course. He thought. Instead, he decided to turn around and give her a dazzling smile.

"Do you want any dessert, Robin-chan?"

"No, I think you've already overdone it, cook-san. Thanks."

"Not a problem at all, my angel!"

"May I ask something, cook-san?" Robin said, returning to her living room. Sanji followed her, eyes turned into hearts of course.

"Anything you want!"

"Are you currently dating anyone?"

If Sanji's system hadn't collapsed yet, it was very near. She could practically hear the gears running in the cook's brain as he processed the woman's question. He opened his mouth to say something, but whatever was about to come out never did, he just stuttered a bunch of uncomprehensible sounds. Robin chuckled. It was almost cute.

"Wh... why do you ask, Robin-chan?"

"Oh, it's just that I see our building seems to be the nest of various couples... I was wondering if you were one of them?"

Sanji's goofy smile disappeared almost instatly. He looked down, not daring to make eye contact, as if he was ashamed of something. Robin knew how to read people too well, maybe she had opened a wound in the cook's heart? She didn't know, but she felt like she had asked something that wasn't appropiate. Or at least for so little time of knowing each other. She still wondered what his answer would be. And then it came...

"No, I'm not." he said.

His voice sounded so sad, it shook Robin. Which is to say, her eyes widened so slightly it was barely visible for the naked eye. However, she felt she had to add something in these situations, so she gave it a try.

"Are you ok, cook-san?"

"Robin-chan I... do you think I'm unattractive? Or are my looks bad? Or am I a bad cook?"

"No, no and no." she answered simply. "Particularly the last one. The dinner was delicious."

"I... I appreciate it, Robin-cha..."

"If this is an attempt at seduction, you should probably stick to your previous filtring, this is not going well, cook-san."

"N... no! Nothing like that!" defended Sanji. "It's just... Luffy engaged, Usopp and the marimo dating... I feel like..."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm going to die alone."

The dark-haired historian just looked at the man. That was ridiculous, he wasn't alone, there were various friends of his she had earlier met and... oh, so he meant romantically. Well, there wasn't something she could do, right? She couldn't exactly say 'things will get better' or something along those lines, she couldn't predict the future and wasn't stupid enough as to encourage a man into something she didn't believe in.

But then those words came to her head. How, she wasn't sure, but she remembered that day... those final words she had heard from that big man...

"You won't die alone, cook-san." Sanji looked up to see her smiling. "Nobody's born into this world completely alone. You will find someone... someday..."

He just kept looking at her. Her smile, it just seemed... sad? Sanji couldn't quite describe it, but it looked as if she was fighting back to forget something in her mind.

He swallowed her words and, as he did, he took a cigarette, the last of the pack, and left it on his mouth, unlit. It took him a few seconds more of processing to bring out the lighter and turn it on. Then he looked back at her, his visible eye looking dead serious.

"Thank you, Robin-chan." he smiled. "You're so lovable and perfect! You are like an angel that fell from heaven just a couple of hours ago!"

"Well, isn't that flattering?" Robin chuckled. "And by the way, have you noticed, cook-san?"

"Eh?"

"The hallway. Isn't it notably quiet now?"

Yes it, indeed, was. Robin was right, the small yelling -that actually were louder, but sounded lighter thanks to the distance and Robin's door- couldn't be heard anymore. Which could mean either the argument was over, or the one who had won was gone to get rid of the loser's dead body. Love and hate were a complicated mixture in their relationship, Sanji wondered how they manager to keep it balanced.

"Oh... well... then I guess I must go back to my appartment, it's getting late and tomorrow my shift is early..."

"So do I. My first class is the first period of the day, very early I must say."

"I'll say you later then, Robin-chan." Sanji said, standing up. "If you have trouble sleeping... well... you know..."

"I'll count with you for help, cook-san." she chuckled.

"Sanji." he said, his hand on the door's knob.

She nodded in acknowledgement, after hearing Nami and Luffy she knew what he meant.

"Good night, Sanji-san."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

The young cook stepped inside his own appartment, opening the door with his own keys. The image he got as soon as he entered was quite... amusing.

There were clothes scattered everywhere, and some sutff thrown around the place too. He then spotted the very naked orange-haired beauty and the equally naked brain-damaged beast (as he liked to call them) under a bunch of sheets. They were cuddling. Sort of. They were hugging each other, but no one was on top, they were both hugging each other and breathing lightly, very asleep.

Sanji sighed. It was a cute picture. And also creepy, since there were some parts of the swordsman's anatomy left in plain sight...

Upon noticing this, Sanji ran off the appartment, only to find Robin on the hallway.

"Ro-"

"You look pale." she commented. "Was there a mass of blood in the appartment where Nami-chan should be?"

"No, it just... I can't sleep here. Not that I could sleep after seeing that..." he added, feeling shivers down his spine. "I'm going to see if Ace's home yet..."

"You can use my couch." she proposed.

"Ro-Robin-chan! I can't allow myself to be a bother for a princess such as yourself! I couldn't possibly pay back for this kindness!"

"I don't think you need to pay back." Robin replied. "Think of it as a neightbour's favor."

"Bu... but..." he stuttered. "But I'll cook breakfast tomorrow morning! I _must_ pay back such generosity!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I'm not dead, in case you were wondering :)

Thanks for the great reviews, I really appreciate it! I will try to update more often, but it was hard to write this, I just kept posposing it for no apparent reason and last week I was like 'ok, I need to do this!' and so I did. But before I go, let me clear a few things that I wanted to write on the first chapter and kinda forgot all about them:

-Honorifics will be kept, since although it's AU this story is set somewhere in Japan. For that same reason, names will be written japanese style (family name first, for example: Nico Robin, Roronoa Zoro, Nefertari Vivi, and so on)

-I may have referred to Robin as both a historian and as an archeologist. I'll clarify her profession: Robin was a remarkable archeologist, but she also graduated as a historian. However, she decided to put down her career as an archeologist and got a job teaching archeology at Enies Lobby University. The reason behind this was her interest for teaching history to young minds, as she breifly explained to Nami previously. Whether it is possible in the real world to graduate in those two areas is beyond me but hey, it's Robin we're talking about. She's literally a genius!

-If you're wondering why they were hugging and Nami didn't just rest on Zoro's chest, it's because Nami tops. She always does, even with Law or Kidd or even Whitebeard! She's Nami!

-You might see the titles up there as "In which..." I got inspired by the series "Friends" and decided to do this. I know, I'm lame, but just bare with me, ok? :)

-Leaving reviews might engourage this author. Or at least inspire. I'm not implying anthing, just saying, that's all... :P

See ya later!


	3. In which everyone goes to the gay bar

Two months have passed since Nico Robin moved into that building in Grand Line Avenue.

She met the remaining neightbours a few days after she moved in. The young doctor, Tony Tony Chopper, had run away from her on their first meeting, hiding the wrong way behind a wall. She found him the most amusing one, when she complimented on his hat he just started happily dancing while shouting a bunch of insults.

Robin also met the last neightbour that was missing, Brook the musician, who was so incredibly tall that she was genuinely surprised he could pass through the door. Also, he was so skinny he looked like a skeleton to her. When she first met him, he bowed, took her hand, and politely asked to see her panties. Robin, having previously been warned, just denied his offer with a polite smile. Later that day, Franky and Chopper found Brook lying on the floor with his body twisted in a quite disturbing position.

Robin couldn't reject her neightbours. Seriously, even if she tried. Nami had somehow obtained a spare key to her appartment, and she entered the place whenever she needed to talk to her or wanted an opinion or to go shopping or when she was simply bored. She had become Robin's closest friend without her even noticing. Not that she minded, Robin enjoyed Nami's company a lot, actually. She was very interesting to talk to, being very mature and intelligent, but was also a good company, a good listener... a good friend. The fact that Vivi's work as a secretary at Baroque Works made her stay out practically all day long probably influenced Nami growing closer to Robin, though.

Across the appartment lived her boyfriend, so it was natural that almost everyday after visiting her friend Nami would cross the hallway for dinner, usually convincing the historian to accompany her. And so it became a habit, Robin shared almost every dinner with Nami, Zoro and Sanji. Zoro didn't seem to mind, he just didn't care, actually, and even if he seemed indifferent to her she could tell he was following the 'if my friends accept you I'm ok with it' policy, or something like that. She also found his sense of direction quite amusing, how did he actually managed to get lost in his own appartment was one of the few quiestions she couldn't answer.

And as regards the cook, he was more than happy that another female had joined their dinners and cooked with extra joy. Robin knew they were right, Sanji's cooking was one of the best she had tasted in her whole life, if not _the_ best. Another reason to keep attending to these dinners, of course. Unlike Nami, she didn't mind the cook's flirting, she actually found it funny and usually thanked his compliments with a smile.

Ace, Robin soon found out, suffered from narcolepsy, something she had discovered when Luffy and him had come up for dinner and Ace suddenly fainted, his face inevitably falling in the middle of the food. Nobody paid him much attention, much to Robin's amusement, until the man woke up when they had all finished. Unluckily for him, his brother had devoured his meal in seconds. Another important aspect of him she soon learned was that he belonged to some kind of fraternity/group/crew/cult that was led by some guy named Whitebeard, so he was often out with them partying or doing stuff no one really knows much about, not even his brother.

Now, after living in this building for two months, Robin is faced with a dilemma. Should she tell them? Or shouldn't she? Maybe she should... then again, she didn't have much of a choice, right? That's why she decided to call her.

"Hey Robin, what's up?" Nami greeted as she entered the appartment.

"Hello, Nami-chan." Robin smiled politely. "How was your day?"

"Oh, you know, Arlong talking to his fishes, Hachi eating more takoyaki than he can actually count, the usual. How about you? You sounded pretty urgent over the phone." she sat down next to her in the couch. "Something's up?"

"Actually, yes." Robin sighed. "You see, today I got visited by a fellow teacher..."

_Robin's Flashback_

As the remaining students left the classroom, Robin started to put her stuff in her purse, this was her last class and finally she was going to be able to return home. However, destiny had planned something else, as a young blonde woman entered the place.

"Heso!"

Robin turned around to find Conis, who taught music on the building next to the archeology building, staring at her with both curiosity and anxiety. Why was she that way, she didn't know, but she didn't care much. She needed some rest, it had been a long day.

"Hello, musician-san." Robin said. "I'm afraid I'm leaving now, is there something important you need to tell me?"

"Yes, it won't take much time, don't worry." Conis produced a paper from her own purse and passed it to Robin.

"Skypiea?" she read, confused.

"It's a bar." Conis explained. "Some friends and I rented it for the night, the money collected goes to a small organization we founded."

"Charity?" the musician nodded. "So, you want me to invite people and attend your party so you can gain money, am I correct?"

"Yes, that's right. Will you be there?"

"I suppose I have no choice, right?"

"Great! I'll see you there on friday with your friends! Heso!" Conis saluted and quickly left.

_End of flashback_

"So, you want us to go?" Nami's eyes beamed with excitement. "Yes! I haven't been able to convince this guys to go out for months! Finally a good excuse!"

"Really? Not even Sanji-san?" Robin asked, trying to imagine Sanji rejecting an offer from Nami. She was unsuccessful.

"Not even him." she sighed. "Oh, this is going to be so great! So it's friday? That means we have two days for preparations!"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that, I'm going to tell everyone so just... I'll see you later!"

And as quickly as she came, she left.

Robin wondered if she had done the right thing telling her.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

Two days later, Robin found out she hadn't done the right thing telling her. At least, according to Zoro.

"You just _had_ to tell her, didn't you?" Zoro complained as he entered the archeologist's appartment.

"Well, I couldn't be unpolite to musician-san, I didn't have much of choice in the matter." commented Robin, closing the book she had planned to start reading. "You may come in, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." he glared at her. "You ready?"

Robin nodded, standing up to reveal her outfit, a beautiful purple dress that ended before her knees, revealing her amazing legs and leaving little of his cleavage to the imagination, with matching heels and a white purse. She analyzed Zoro's outfit -a simple white shirt and jeans- and wondered if Sanji had complained about it. The blonde man didn't quite share his roommate's fashion sense.

"Everyone's already on the hall."

"Everyone's coming?" she asked, surprised. She didn't expect to lead a whole crowd to that Skypiea bar, just Nami, Vivi and Kaya, and possibly their respective boyfriends, not the _entire_ building.

"Yeah. Except for Ace, he's going out with the Whitebeard guys. And Chopper, who's working late at the hospital."

"Oh my. I didn't expect this many people."

"Well, nobody really did..." Zoro scratched his green hairs, a bit nervously from Robin's point of view.

"What?"

"Nami told me and Vivi." explained Zoro. "Then Vivi told Luffy. And then the entire street knew about the plans."

"I see." she grabbed her purse. "Shall we leave, then?"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

The building's hall had never been so crowded since Robin moved in. She spotted Vivi in a stunning light-blue short dress trying to convince Luffy not to bring his straw hat, but she was unable to convince the stubborn young man. Brook was humming as Franky ranted about the importance of not wearing pants, while Usopp assured him that if Franky didn't get in because of that, he wasn't going to stay outside for him. Kaya and Nami were engaged in conversation about the golden earrings Nami had received from her sister Nojiko -which she was wearing- as Sanji commented on their beauty and danced around them. Upon the arrival of the last two, he swooned towards the new lady.

"Robin-chwan~! Your beauty is just so... so stunning! You never cease to amaze me~!"

"Thank you, Sanji-san." smiled Robin.

Zoro's cough sounded suspiciously like 'pervert', but if Sanji noticed, he didn't say anything.

"Can we leave now?" asked Nami. "We might get late and not get in!"

"Relax, woman." Zoro assured her. "We just need to walk to the bus stop a few blocks ahead and we'll be in front of it in some minutes. What could possibly go wrong?"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Is _this_ the place?"

"_This_ place?"

"Really?"

"Are you sure this is the right place, marimo?"

"Of course it is, shit cook! Have I ever guided you wrongly before?"

"..." the whole group suddenly fell silent.

"Oi!"

"Robin-san, we are at the correct place, right?" Vivi timidly asked.

"The address musician-san provided me with coincides, and this is, obviously, a bar. So I believe it's correct."

"Ok, I trust Robin! Let's go!"

"But Luffy!" protested Usopp. "It's just too... too..."

"Pink and weird-looking?" suggested Zoro.

"Strange?" added Franky.

"Twisted?" contributed Sanji.

"Yeah! What they said!"

"But I thought we were going to make Robin look good with her companions!" claimed Luffy. "I'm going in! Let's go Vivi!"

"Yes, Luffy's right." Vivi nodded. "We are doing this for Robin-san, not for us. Let's go."

"Fine, have it your way." sighed Usopp, following the advancing group.

"I'm not going." protested Zoro.

"If you don't come, no sex for you in two months and I mean it this time!" roared Nami, following the rest of the group, who didn't bother to stop.

"... oi, wait up!" said the green-haired man as he entered Kamabukka Kingdom after the rest. "Huh, I thought the name started with an 's'... weird."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

Meanwhile, at the bar right next to Kamabukka Kingdom...

"I'm worried, Laki-chan." sighed Conis, caressing her little fox and glancing towards her friend. "Where is Robin-chan and her friends? She said she would come too. I hope I didn't give her the wrong address..."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"I thought the entrance fee was higher... what a weird place..." mumbled Zoro as he entered the place, trying to understand why the man at the entrance had allowed him to enter free if he took off his shirt.

"You wanna see something weird? Look at _that_!" Franky snorted as he scanned the bar.

Zoro stood next to him and the rest of the group.

His eyes went wide instantly.

"... what the hell?"

The place was filled with men. And transvestites. But they probably all entered in the same category. The dance floor was crowded with them, dancing a little too close to each other to be called friends... and there was that cage on the middle of the scenario were some had taken Rihanna's S&M a little bit too seriously...

"I don't recall musician-san mentioning this was actually a gay bar." commented Robin.

"No kidding!" replied Usopp.

"I don't see what's wrong." whined Luffy. "What's wrong, guys? You were so excited before!"

"I'm far from excited. Of that, I'm sure." Sanji assured him.

"Ah, there are no panties to ask for here..." said Brook with a tone somewhat tragic.

"But it was smart." claimed Nami. "Think about it. Would you've come if you knew this was a gay bar?"

"Nami-san has a point." pointed out Kaya. "But well... it isn't that bad."

"Oh my beautiful Kaya-swan, always pointing out the good stuff, that's why you are so amazing!" claimed Sanji.

"Well, we already paid, we could leave now..." objected Franky.

"We're already here! Why don't we just get some drinks and that's it? You don't have to dance, we came here to have fun!" protested Nami. "What could possibly be the harm?"

Franky shrugged and agreed to go look for some drinks with Usopp. Kaya, Nami, Robin and Vivi made their way to the dancefloor, each one of them leaving their purses with their respective boyfriends, except for Robin for obvious reasons. However, Sanji willingly took Robin's purse and guarded it like it was made of pure gold. And before they realized, Brook had mysteriously disappeared.

"Mugi-channnn~!"

Luffy recognized that voice. He turned around and found a tall man with a _lot_ of make-up -specially mascara- on his face twirling towards him. They greeted each other with a hug as Zoro and Sanji took various step backwards.

"Bon-chan! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, the queen of Kamabukka Kingdom was performing today, I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Bon Clay, their ex-neightbour, chuckled and then looked at him with curious eyes. "What are _you_ doing here, Mugi-chan?"

"I came to have fun! Shishishishi" laughed Luffy.

Bon Clay blinked a few times before replying to make sure he wasn't imagining stuff.

"Stop jooooking aroooound~!" guffawed the okama as he kept spinning on his place. "I knew you weren't as naive as you seemed, and that blue-haired chick totally wasn't for you, come I'll introduce you to some friends..."

"Oi! Stop it Bentham!" Zoro jumped into action, separating his friend from the okama.

"But Zoro, what's wrong?"

"Vivi-chan and this idiot are engaged. I dare you to break them apart." growled Sanji threateningly, slowly smoking his cigarette.

Bon Clay stopped twirling to think for a moment, considering what had been said, while Luffy demanded an explanation. Finally, he started twirling again.

"Mugi-channn~! I'll return to my friends, I'll see you later my friendddd~!" and he danced away towards a group of even more weird-looking people.

"Bye Bon-chan!"

"Freak." Zoro and Sanji simoultaneously concluded, for once agreeing on something.

"Guys, let's go look for Franky and Usopp!"

"Huh?" Sanji stopped for a moment. He scanned the dance floor again. That was strange, he could've sworn he saw a mass of golden, beautiful blonde hair -which probably belonged to an also beautiful female- among the crowd. "How odd..."

"Oi, love cook! What's keeping you? Feeling tempted?"

"Marimo!"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

About an hour later, the guys were still standing by the bar, observing the place as they drank a glass each. Sanji had chosen a very smooth wine, which was surprisingly cheap according to him, while the rest of them drank a beer each. Except for Luffy.

"Oh my." a skinny, small man around his thirties gasped as he approached Zoro and Sanji, looking at each of them. "I would give everything to be the meat in between _this_ sandwich."

Zoro and Sanji's face reflected as much disgust as it was humanly possible at that mental image. No, that's not correct, because Luffy and his innocence just had to butt in.

"Hey, if someone's going to be meat it's going to be me!" he claimed, offended.

"Well, if you insist, I can see a way we can work this out." the man said seductively, winking at the straw hat.

Luffy didn't get the hint, and was about to ask about what he meant when Zoro shoved the guy aside. Literally.

The other two weren't completely safe either, though.

"What a lovely speedo! It seems so manly!"

"Yeah it totall- _whoa_, no touching the speedo!"

"Oh your long nose... you know, I always had a thing for men with long noses. They're just so se-"

"Please don't touch me." begged Usopp, internally praying to every single god he knew about.

"Guys, what's going on?" Kaya asked as he approached the pair.

"Nothing, my _girlfriend_ who I love very, very much." Usopp grabbed her and kissed her immediately, the man who was next to him left right away mumbling 'Jerk' or something along those lines.

"Zoro, something wrong?" asked Nami as she and the other two girls approached him.

"Yeah, this place!" protested Zoro.

"Strangers have been... sort of... _hitting_ on us all night long!" added Franky, joining their conversation since Usopp was too busy proving every man around him that he was heterosexual.

"We couldn't even have a normal conversation in the whole night!" the cook complained.

"And they were all losers!"

"... why does that matter, Franky?"

"Never mind."

"Well, now you know how it is for us, women." exclaimed Nami triunfantly.

"Nami-san, I don't think that's..."

"But this place is so great! We could walk and dance freely with no idiot trying to take us home with them, no one touching our butts or staring at our boobs... it's like a woman's paradise!"

"And a man's nightmare." commented her boyfriend. "Can we leave now?"

"Not until we dance on that cage!" decided Nami. "Let's go Vivi! Robin!"

"I think I'll pass." chuckled Robin.

"Wait, Nam-"

And so, the two women were soon on top of the scenario, dancing inside the cage with some other guy who danced in their same style and patters. Which looked weird in Zoro's opinion. So, to distract himself, he went to look for his solution to every one of life's problems.

Alcohol.

"Anyone wants something from the bar?" asked Zoro.

"I would like a margherita, please." requested Robin.

"By the way, has anyone seen cook-bro?" questioned Franky.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

It wasn't his imagination. She was real, very real, of that much he was sure. He had definitively seen her, her angelical features, her cascading hair, her remarkably thin finger that motioned him to follow her to the bathrooms. And of course he did.

Sanji entered the bathroom and his heart was beating so loud he could literally hear it. And then he saw her, facing the wall, her face hidden from the cook, his blonde hair ending just before his hi-

Wait.

What the...

_His_?

And with horror at the realization, he opened his eyes, which he had closed for some unknown reason.

To discover an ugly blonde okama advancing at him in what was presumed to be sexy (and was far away from it).

"I knew you would come. You are _definitively_ my type of man." he/she chuckled, advancing towards him.

Sanji, holding back the tears that caused his shattered illusion, took a few steps backwards, analyzing his possible exits and found himself at a dead end, the okama wouldn't give him enough time to escape and was physically bigger, if only he had...

Yet by some miracle, destiny was on his side and decided to open a door for him.

Literally.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but this qualifies as rape." Robin coldly informed the okama. "Please leave my friend alone."

The okama mumbled something against it, but the woman's cold, semi-demonic expression made him select the more rational choice and ran away as fast as it was humanly possible.

"Oh, Robin-chan, thank God." thanked Sanji. "I don't think I can ever pay this back..."

"How about a coffee?" suggested Robin.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"And now..." a voice announced from somewhere in the shadows, as the music faded away "for all of you that have so patiently waited for this moment... here it is... the show of the fabulous, the only, the queen... Emporio Ivankov!"

Since everyone else was clapping, the group from Grand Line Avenue decided to clap too, as the scenario was now occupied by a huge, purple, heavily make up-ed head with a small body attached to it. And next to him was...

"Brook!" recognized Franky. "So that's where he was!"

"A guitar? He's playing with them?" asked Vivi, intrigued.

"Hey, has anyone seen Sanji-kun?" questioned Nami.

"Anyone seen Robin? I still have her damn margherita!" claimed Zoro.

"Maybe they left together." suggested Luffy.

The couple look at him, then at each other for quite a while... then bursted out in laughter.

"Haha, good one Luffy!"

"As if the ero-cook could get a hot girl just like that!"

"I would love to see that!"

"Shh, the show's about to start!"

And so it began. Unfortunately.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"This is a nice place." commented Sanji, analysing the café as he took a drag from his cigarette. "I don't remember ever coming here. And I know a lot about the city."

"Thank you." thanked Robin as the waiter left her a cup of coffee and she proceeded to pour sugar into it. "Well, this part of the city is pretty far away from where we come from, isn't it?"

"Ah Robin-chan, as smart as always." praised Sanji.

"I heard you will be helping Vivi-san in her wedding preparations."

"Yeah, the shithead he's marrying doesn't exactly know what planning a wedding actually consists of." sighed Sanji. "So I'm helping them. And by helping them I mean helping Vivi-chan and teaching Luffy how to organize a wedding."

"Is it difficult?"

"It's harder than teaching a monkey how to talk." he sighed again, remembering a moment two days ago, when he had to explain Luffy why he couldn't have a wedding cake consisting entirely of meat. "And nowhere as exhausting."

Sanji told that moment to Robin, among other Luffy moments he classified as 'idiotic', and she laughed. A little bit too much, to her dismay, and then _that_ laughter just _had_ to come out.

"Dereshishishi." she laughed, then her eyes widened and she instantly covered her mouth with her hands.

"Robin-chan... I had never heard you laugh like that..."

"Please don't mention it." said Robin somewhat coldly. More like ordered.

"I won't but... it was really beautiful."

She looked up and into his eyes, not even he could lie about that. Beautiful? Was he serious? He couldn't be. And yet his look was serious.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you never laugh!" claimed Sanji. "No, I didn't mean it like that! I mean... you smile and... chuckle and all that... and that's not bad at all! But... to hear you truely laugh for the first time... that sound was just beautiful, Robin-chan. Sorry if I offended you."

She looked down again, looking at the coffee she had quickly ended without noticing. Then looked up with a smile.

"You haven't offended me, Sanji." she said. "Thank you."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"I hope to see you someday again, Mugi-channnn~!" yelled Bon Clay as he spun away with his okama friends.

"I hope so too Bon-chan! Bye!" Luffy yelled back before he was caught by Nami's firm grip and dragged out of the bar, along with the other members of their little group, who were patiently waiting there.

"We can _never_ go back there." ordered Nami as she released Luffy.

"Ever." seconded Vivi and Zoro.

"I just don't get it." complained Franky. "Was the pole dance supposed to be _funny_ or _sexy_ or _traumatizing_ or _what_?"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to eat bananas again after what Ivankov-san did..." mumbled Kaya, shivering.

"Well, at least you didn't get to be the 'volunteer' from the public." commented Vivi, looking at the young man besides him.

"The okamas... their hands... they're everywhere..." mumbled Usopp, sitting in the middle of the street rocking himself back and forth, curled up in fetal position, as Kaya tried to drag him along to keep up with the rest.

"How did you get to perform with them anyway?" asked Franky.

"I have absolutely no idea myself." Brook answered cheerfully. "How about a song to cheer us up? Yohohoho!"

"I had enough of that, thanks." Nami shot back. "Oh, there you are."

"Were you worried about me, Nami-swan?" asked Sanji as he marched towards her. "Don't worry, I was in the amazing company of charming Robin-chwan~!"

"Oh dear, did something happen?" questioned Robin.

"We're... leaving... now." decided Zoro. "This is the last time I'm ever going out with you all!"

And so, the green-haired man raced towards the bus stop -where the bus had stopped just now- followed by the rest of them.

* * *

><p>AN: Wow, I finally finished! I hope I didn't take too long, and I also hope I didn't forget to reply anyone's review! XD<p>

Btw, if someone's interested, I've decided this fanfic will last about 15/16 chapters or so. I'm not sure right now, but it won't be more than 20, because it just feels too much. Just letting you know, you know. Now, I'm going to take a page out of Dandy Wonderous's book (who's an amazing fanfiction author) and complete my author note :)

_...some kind of fraternity/group/crew/cult that was..._

I couldn't exactly pick one, since I don't know which one fitted Ace better... so any of them is fine, take your pick. Feels more of a frat if you ask me, but whatever.

_If you don't come, no sex for you..._

Yay for whipped!Zoro! XD

_...some had taken Rihanna's S&M a little bit too seriously..._

That's short for Sadism&Masochism, in case you're wondering. Now that you know it, go watch Rihanna's videoclip to S&M and you'll understand it _way_ better.

_...beautiful Kaya-swan, always..._

Since they haven't met in the canon, I didn't know it at first which suffix to use. Then I settled for "-san" because of the other three main females in this story, two go with "-chan" (Robin and Vivi) and one with "-san" (Nami) and I like even numbers. XD

_"Oh my." a skinny, small man around his thirties gasped..._

Just to be sure, this chapter was meant to be funny, NOT offensive. I personally have nothing against gays, or yaoi, or shonen aior anything of the sort (my own uncle is gay and he's a lot of fun to be with and I'm totally cool with it... unlike my dad, but there are certain things one can't change). So, no flames please. Thanks.

And so, a chapter ends and a new one is being written! See you on chapter 4! Bye bye!


	4. In which the invites are sent

**AN**: I apologize for the long wait! But here, extra long chapter as an apology :D Enjoy!

* * *

><p>She entered the office practically running. Five minutes, only five minutes late and yet... she felt like her work was on the line. Crocodile was a man who didn't have any kind of issue in firing people at eight am, and surely Vivi wasn't going to be the exception. Even through she was late because of him and the stupid coffee she was supposed to bring for him every morning. Damn Starbucks and their ridiculously long waiting lines!<p>

However, she was lucky. She entered Crocodile's office only to find out he hadn't arrived as well, and she sighed in relief. She left the coffee on top of his desk together with various newspapers and magazines he asked for daily and quickly made her way to her own desk outside the office, firmly closing the door behind her, as she always did.

Exactly one minute later, the director of Baroque Works exited the elevator and entered his own office, leaving his fur coat behind for his secretary to hang. Without a word, Vivi hanged the coat on the closet behind her, ignoring the familiar smell of cigars that came from it.

An hour or so later, the secretary was visited by a companion from the section just below them, another employee which she counted as one of her few friends at the company, a slim, blue-haired woman named Paula Doublefinger. She walked up to her desk -with her bizarre way of walking, which Vivi would never understand- and smiled at her.

"Good morning, Vivi." greeted Paula. "How's the day going?"

"Pretty normal so far." she commented. "How about you? Everything's ok?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something. It's about the wedding. First of all, thanks for the invite..."

"No problem."

"But I wanted to ask you if I could bring someone. I know I checked on alone when I replied, but now I kind of have someone so..."

"Well, I'll talk about it with Luffy but I don't think it will be a problem." Vivi assured her, taking out paper and pen. "Name?"

"Daz Bones." Vivi's eyes widened a bit, as she looked up towards the older woman. She just shrugged. "What? We get along really well."

"Yes, I'm sure of that..."

And as Vivi finished the paper and Paula proceeded to fill her in with of the gossip piece of the day, something happened. Something that would shake her, literally.

"Miss Wednesday, come to my office. Now." Crocodile's voice ordered from the other side of the telephone next to her.

Vivi jumped up, the chair falling to the floor with a loud sound. Paula looked at her curious, as if she was asking with her eyes what did she do. Vivi's innocent look told her she didn't have a clue about what was that all about.

And she didn't. Yet.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Ah, Miss Wednesday. It's good to see you're fine." greeted Crocodile as the young woman entered the office.

"I'm fine, thank you sir." she informed.

She had always been creeped by that office, no matter how many times she came in. It was just so dark and gloomy, with no windows but an aquarium instead. An aquarium where huge crocodiles roamed freely. No matter how many times she looked at them, she still found them disgustingly creepy. And Crocodile being there just made the whole situation scarier. If he was going to complain about cold coffee, Vivi planned to get a machine of that hot coffee and drop it on top of him. Somehow.

"Good, good." he said, releasing a cloud of smoke into the air and smoking his cigar to proceed to puff more smoke.

"Is there something you need me for, sir?"

"Not really. I just got informed that you will be getting married, is that so?"

"Ye... yes, it is true." she confirmed.

Just what was up with him? Are bosses sopposed to ask such bizarre questions for no adequately explained reasons? She felt like screaming. Not that she would ever scream at him. Or anyone. She was too timid and sweet to actually yell at someone, an annoyed Vivi was indeed a rare sight.

"Well, I was surprised when I heard it. You've been here for many years, I took you in when you were just a naive little girl with no experience..." said Crocodile. "I just got surprised, since there was no invitation or anything of the sort... I never thought it would be so informal."

"Oh... well... y...you know, ma... many things get lost in the way... and we haven't finished the list yet... we still haven't sent all the invites and-"

"Ah, so that explains it. I just haven't gotten my invitation yet, right?"

Vivi looked at him, shocked. Was the man really auto-inviting himself to _her_ wedding? How low and how pathetic and how... how the hell could she say no to the threatening look his dead-like eyes were giving to her right now? His look seemed to scream 'you'll be fired if you don't play it smart' at her clearly. And so, she had no option.

"R... right."

"Good." he said once again. "You may leave. In fact, why don't you leave for the rest of the day? Take the day off, I'm sure you are busy with other wedding-related plans. I'll have Miss Monday in your place for the day."

"Tha... thank you so much, sir." she accepted, making a small bow. "Well, if there's nothing more, I'll just..."

"Yes, you are dismissed. Have a good day, Miss Wednesday."

And so, Crocodile returned to his papers while Vivi left the office, with the actual crocodiles staring right back at her creepily. As she came out, she noticed Paula was still standing there, but without a word she started packing her stuff.

"I'm not fired." she informed, noticing the strange look Paula was giving her.

"Oh... I'm glad." her tone didn't agree, but whatever, Vivi didn't mind right now. "Where are you going, then?"

"To jump from floor seventeen's window. Goodbye."

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Ow! I'm feeling extra _super_ today!" yelled Franky as he entered the gym.

Some people gave him a puzzled look, but he ignored them and started walking to where the weights were. Chopper followed beihnd him, eyes sparkling.

"You can really lift that much weight? That's so awesome!" claimed Chopper. "Zoro! What are you doing here?"

"Can't... you... see?" Zoro explained between push ups, balancing a huge weight with his bare feet as he lifted himself up and down with his sweaty hands. "Working... out..."

"You're really on fire today, Zoro-bro! SUUUUPER!" exclaimed Franky, taking a weight similar in size to Zoro's and starting to work out.

Chopper tried to imitate them, taking a small weight he found, but he found it an impossible task no matter how much strenght he put on it. He was happy that none of them actually saw his failure, so he just hurried to hide the weight with the rest and look innocent enough.

He was wrong, someone had spotted him.

Ace patted his head and granted him an accomplice wink, stating with it that he wasn't going to reveal what had just happened. Then the man proceeded to clean his well-formed chest -since for some unknown reason he went shirtless today- and then rested the towel on his shoulders. Zoro didn't notice him until he stopped his push ups and the other young man threw another towel on his face.

"Hey, fire-bro! How's it going?"

"I'm fine, just got out of work." explained Ace, sitting down before them, legs crossed.

"I didn't know you came to this gym." mentioned Zoro as he proceeded to clean his body of the sweat with the towel Ace had provided him.

"It's near work, so when I get out I just come here for an hour or so every day." he commented casually. "Why aren't you two at work?"

"I don't work on fridays!" informed Franky cheerfully as he kept working with his weight.

"I left early today." answered Chopper, sitting down in front of Ace. "Kaya said she would be taking care of everything today, so I should take the day off and relax."

"So, Luffy had you two trying out suits yesterday?" asked Franky.

"It was actually Sanji the one who made it. Luffy didn't understand a thing of what was going on." chuckled Luffy's older brother.

"The cook's so obsessed with weddings, I fear one day he'll sprout boobs and walk around in a wedding dress." mentioned Zoro.

"You have a weird imagination, bro... yet I still see that somehow possible."

"But man can't have boobs! It goes against everything I've studied!" yelled Chopper.

"It was a joke."

"Oh... oh, now I get it! Ha ha, that was funny Zoro!"

"Well, I'm done for the day." said Zoro, putting the towel on his shoulder. "I'm heading to the showers, see you later."

"Bye Zoro!" said Chopper as the green-haired man left.

Ace's phone suddenly vibrated, and he looked at the text message he had received, ignoring for a moment the 'super' Franky exclaimed every time he lifted the weight. It was from Nami.

"_Please come to my place as soon as you can. Emergency!_"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Hey, what's up?" greeted Ace as the door was opened, lifting his green cowboy hat up to reveal his smirk.

"Ugh, it's terrible, come on in." Nami backed away and allowed him entrance to her appartment. "It's Vivi."

Before he could ask what was wrong, she heard the sound of something being tossed to the floor and sobs and crying. If that was supposed to be the timid, sweet, caring Vivi they all knew and liked, they were doomed.

"What's wrong with her? Isn't she supposed to be at work right now?"

"I know, I just got home and found her like this... she won't even let me in! I don't know what to do, and I couldn't reach Luffy."

"And why did you decide to call _me_, of all people?" he wondered.

"You're the best man! Help me save this wedding!"

"And you're the maid of honor! Isn't your duty supposed to be the bride?"

"Ok, it's _our_ duty. Happy?" she rolled her eyes. "Now, do something."

"I'll give it a shot." he walked towards the bathroom door, where the noise had come from, and knocked softly on the door. "Hey Vivi, it's me, Ace."

"Wha... what do you want, Ace?" she sobbed.

"Um... how do I ask this?" Ace rested his fingers on his chin for a moment, lost in thought. Then it dawned on him. "Ok, I'll just say it. There's been an accident and Usopp's dead."

The door of the bathroom flew open immediately and Vivi's tear-filled eyes were as wide and shocked as they could possibly be.

"What? Usopp-sa-"

"See? Told you I could get her out of the bathroom." the black-haired man winked at Nami, who simply facepalmed at his foolishness. Even if he was smarter and more mature, he still was Luffy's brother.

"Usopp's not dead, Vivi." the architect grabbed her by her arm and dragged her to the couch. "But _you_ will be if you don't explain to me what's going on."

"I have to leave. There's another emergency..." explained Ace, who was currently texting someone with his phone and smirking while he read something.

"Fine, you may leave." sighed the orange-haired girl, and he did as commanded. "So, it's just the two of us now. Wanna talk?"

Vivi made a soft, whining noise that she couldn't quite figure out, so she just kept talking.

"You know, I had a horrible day at work too. Arlong was pissed because one of his fishes decided to die, so a bunch of newbies were fired. And guessed which architect was in charge of the paperwork?"

Nami pointed at herself with a small smile and Vivi suddenly felt stupid. Why did she act like such a little girl? Was she really that scared? Yes, she was, but still... she shouldn't just locked herself up and cry, she knew she could talk to Nami. Yeah, she could do that. Nami was comprehensive, and she was her friend after all, wasn't she? Who could she trust if not her?

"I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's ok. At least I could leave earlier because of that."

"No, I mean... by how I acted. It's so unlike me. I'm sorry, Na-"

"As I said, it's ok. You don't have to do everything according to your personality." she granted her a wink. "Sometimes it's ok to go a little wild and scream and cry. There's nothing wrong about that."

"So, you want to know what happened?"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Let me get this straight." concluded Nami as she dug a spoon into her chocolate ice cream. "Crocodile invited himself to the wedding?"

"Yes, he did. Gosh, what am I gonna do?" sighed Vivi, eating a big spoon of vanilla ice cream.

"Just let him come."

"I can't do that!"

"... why?"

"What do you mean why? He's my boss!"

"I know that. But Shanks' coming too, and isn't he Luffy's boss?"

"Um... that's different."

"And by the way, what does Luffy do, exactly? What is his job at Shanks' bar?"

"There's something about Crocodile I'm not telling you." confessed Vivi.

"Don't avoid the question!" then the meaning of her words dawned on her. "Wait, what? What do you mean?"

"I... My name is Nefertari Vivi. At Baroque Works, my name is Wednesday Vivi." revealed the blue-haired woman, looking away in shame. "Crocodile doesn't know my real identity."

Nami's jaw dropped, but she didn't care, so she just stared, open-mouthed, at her friend and roommate.

"Yo... you... you've been working with a secret identity?"

"Yes."

"Is there... a reason why you did this? What the hell is going on?"

"Yes, there is." Vivi sighed again and explained. "You know my dad, right?"

"Yeah, Cobra-san. He's the owner of Arabasta In-" she stopped herself mid-sentence and just stared blankly at her in realization. "Baroque Works is Arabasta's rival company."

"See why I can't let him come? He will find out."

"Maybe not." opted the architect. "Maybe he won't, you're lucky you know..."

"Luffy's marrying Nefertari Vivi, _not_ Wednesday!"

"... ok, maybe he would."

"God, this wedding's ruined! What am I gonna do?"

"Why did you get a fake last name anyway?"

"I couldn't work in Arabasta, I wanted to win something by myself and you know that." Nami nodded, she knew exactly what she was talking about. "And well... Baroque Works was the only option left... and surprisingly they took me in..."

"Well, we'll figure it out, don't worry."

"And then there's also that other thing..." admitted Vivi shyly.

"Other... thing?" her eyebrow twitched. What else would come now?

"Well, Luffy's family is quite more... complicated than what I originally thought. I have trouble on deciding where to place them in order for them not to kill each other."

"Come to think of it, I haven't ever met them. You did, didn't you?"

"Yes. Sort of."

"What's wrong about them?"

"Pretty much everthing." said Vivi, rolling her eyes. "First there's Luffy's abandoning father who recently got back to his life, Monkey D Dragon. Then there's Monkey D Garp, his violent grandfather who abandoned him too because of his work, and his adoptive mother Dadan, who was released from prison a couple of years ago, she's the woman who raised him until his biological mother found him."

"Ok, so it is a little hard..." then she thought for a moment. "And where does Ace fit in that story? Is Dragon his dad too?"

"No, he's not." Vivi sighed. "This is where it gets more complicated. Ace is Luffy's half-brother, they share their mother. Apparently, Rouge made a little mistake after marrying Roger, Ace's dad, and well..."

"That mistake is named Dragon?" Vivi nodded and Nami facepalmed. "Just what is it with this family?"

"I have to invite them all, I have no option... but there will be tension. A lot of tension. Even if Roger forgave Rouge, not everything is going to be cool with him and Dragon, right?"

"Well, ye-"

"And also, Dadan hates Garp and attacking him was the reason she was sent to prison."

"Ok..."

"And Ace hates Roger. A lot."

"Y-yeah, but you can..."

"And then there's that other brother of Luffy who lives abroad..."

"Ok, this is becoming ridiculous! Just what is it with this family?"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

Robin frowned as she checked the ID of the number that was calling to her cellphone. She had a strange feeling her plans were going to change. And, as always, she was correct.

"Hello, Nami-chan." the architect could practically see her sweet smile over the phone, and she wasn't wrong.

"Hey Robin, how's it going?"

"I'm fine, just waiting for secreta- for Vivi-san, how about you?"

"Yeah... about that..."

Ah, her guess had been correct. The waiter approached her and handed her the cup of coffee she had ordered, which she accepted with a polite smile as Nami filled her in.

The tiny café she had chosen was simple and quite, just what she liked. The place had been thought by Vivi to meet Robin and Nami -since Kaya wouldn't be able to make it today due to work- to go pick the bride and bridesmaids dresses. They had gotten measures and stuff, but they still hadn't chosen color and design.

Also, Robin had been confused when she was announced to be one of her three bridesmaid. Vivi explained that she had been a good friend to her these last months and she liked her for that, and she would just regret it if she didn't give her that job.

Robin just replied with a smile and a simple thank you, but couldn't help a warm sensation on her chest. But that was normal. Right?

"Oh my." commented Robin as her friend finished the explanation. "Well, I guess I'll just go home then. There are many exams that need to be qualified, so there's no problem."

"But Robin, that would just dela... Sanji-kun!" she realized immediately. Of course, how couldn't she think of that earlier? "Sanji-kun is almost like the wedding planner, he'll know everything Vivi wants and what we want and need. Take him to the dress shop and he'll decide the bridesmaids' dresses with you! We'll take care of Vivi's dress another day."

"Sounds like a plausible idea. I'll call him and..."

"No, he's at work now, so he doesn't have his phone with him."

"Oh, so how do I reach him?"

"Why don't you go to the Baratie?"

"Isn't that his working place?"

"Yeah but there's nothing to worry about, he's assistant chef so there's no trouble if he goes out for an hour or two. I'll send the address to your phone."

"Alright then. I guess I'll go the Baratie." said Robin, for some reason amused with the idea.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Ok, Robin's on her way to the Baratie." commented Nami as she finished texting the woman.

"Fine, what do we do next?"

"Let's see. This" Nami rose a big sheet of paper, the kind she used for designing buildings and sketches for work; this time, the sketch would be quite different. "is your wedding."

Nami took a ruler and a pencil, and in a few minutes she had a rough sketch of the place where the wedding was taking place. She drew two little circles in the upper part, one had a V and the other one an L, representing the bride and groom respectively. To L's side stood an A, a Z and a S, and at the other side where a N, a K and a R. After them appeared various random circles representing the people sitting down.

"Now, usually the family is located on the first, second and third rows, depending on how numerous it is." the orange-haired woman pointed at those rows with her pencil for emphasis. "So, let's resolve Luffy's side first. We need to sit Dragon in the first row, he's the father. But we can't sit Rouge and Roger on the first row too, and the third is just too far away... the second will have to do."

"But, we can't sit Garp at the third either." pointed out Vivi.

"True, but we can sit him next to his own son, right?"

"Actually, Garp doesn't stand Dragon either, for abandoning Luffy when he was younger."

"But Garp abandoned him too!"

"Let's not try to understand the logic of the Monkey family." sighed the younger girl. "Believe me, I tried."

"Ugh, you're right. Well, he has no problem with Rouge and Roger, so we may..."

"Roger is his mortal enemy."

Nami lifted the page and ripped it in half. Then she threw it to the bin and took another one to start a second sketch of the wedding, exactly the same as before but with the people in the crowd in blank instead of written as in the previous one. She also mumbled something that sounded like 'could've told me before' but Vivi couldn't quite catch it.

"So, we sit Rouge and Roger in the first row. Dragon goes to the second row for abandoning his son." decided Nami.

"Sounds about right. Now, where should we sit Sabo?"

"Oh right, that's the other brother, right?" Vivi nodded. "Please tell me Rouge didn't have any more affairs."

"No, no." chuckled the soon-to-be bride. "In fact, she's the most normal member of this family."

"Normal? In the Monkey family? Wow, shocking."

"Sabo isn't Luffy and Ace's brother per se... they're not blood-related. He's such a close friend since they were little kids that they ended up calling theirselves brothers."

"Ah, that's sweet."

"I know, right?" smiled Vivi, remembering Luffy's huge smile when he told her the story. "Anyway, Sabo checked plus one too, I don't know who he's bringing but it's two people."

"Any more hatred or grudges I should know of?"

"No, Sabo doesn't hate anyone, except maybe Garp a little, but not that much..." she thought for a moment. "He really looks up to Dragon, maybe on the second row will do?"

"Perfect, second row's full now. Can we sit Dadan next to Roger and Rouge?" Vivi nodded happily. "Alright, it's done!"

"Wait, we forgot Garp!"

"Oh, right." Nami frowned. "Hm... why don't we sit him on your side? Next to your father and Igaram, the only members of your family attending, doesn't it sound nice?"

"Yes, it does, and the trouble is finally over!" Vivi sighed in relief. "Ah, thanks to you Nami, I can't believe I got all worked up for nothing. You solved it all! I just have to sit Crocodile far away from Father and..."

"Yeah, about that..." commented Nami. "Don't invite Crocodile."

"What?"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Ah, so this is it?"

Robin admired the restaurant for a moment. It was big and had various tables outside for people who preferred fresh air over the air conditioner. The building itself was white, and centered on top of it where big seven letters, 'BARATIE', in golden yellow. there was also a small fish below that seemed to be the restaurant's logo.

Inside, it was as elegant as she had predicted. Big tables, fancy chandeliers, black and white tiles on the floor, and classy waiters all dressed in suit. Plus, a smooth piano for an even more soothing effect. If she had to pick a place for dinner, this would surely be on her top list, specially after trying Sanji's food herself, and if he was the assistant chef she couldn't even imagine what the main chef must cook like.

Oh, but there was something that ruined the smooth atmosphere right now. And, of course, it had to be yelling.

"Damn eggplant, you think you can just leave whenever you want?"

"Shut the hell up, you shitty geezer! If a beautiful damsel is in distress of course I'll save her! It's my duty as her prince!"

"Isn't she getting married?"

"That's not the point!"

"You think you can keep your job like this, little eggplant? Always offering free food to girls and leaving whenever the fuck you want? I have no problem in firing you."

"Go ahead, fire me shithead. I dare you! You would be lost without me in seconds!"

Robin's eyes widened ever so slightly. Nami had said there would be no problem in him leaving, but he was now yelling at his own boss! Did she just get him into trouble with his superior? He could lose his loved position because of them? Oh, she shouldn't allow that.

She took a couple of steps and was soon next to the argument. The person the cook was discussing with was an elderly man around his fifties or so, with a weirdly long mustache that was tied with tiny blue ribbons and little black eyes that glared at the young blonde he was arguing with. The white hat on top of his head indicated that he was the main chef, and Robin suspected he was also the restaurant's owner. She had heard about him from Nami, Zeff, the old man from the Baratie who liked to cuss and made great food. Both traits were similar to Sanji, something peculiar that had caught her attention but decided not to question any further.

As soon as he saw her, the blonde went into love-mode or, as Zoro said, pervert-mode.

"Ah, Robin-chan, perfect timing! But then again, everything about you is perfect!" sighed the cook. "Shall we leave?"

"Oi! We're not done discussing yet!"

"Shut up, shitty geezer. I'll see you later."

"Please, Sanji-san, I'd prefer you didn't lose your job over something that could be done any other day." opted the woman with a polite smile.

"Oh, but it is no trouble! I work here everyday and I just work the extra hours I'm gone at night! The marimo will have to starve tonight. Ah, what an appealing thought..."

"I haven't accepted that, little eggplant!" yelled Zeff angrily.

Sanji didn't seem even a little perturbed from his reaction. He headed towards the door as he took his cigarettes from his pocket. "Let's go now, Robin-chan."

"If you insist, I guess I should follow you." she turned around and flashed a small smile to the main chef. "I'll borrow your assistant chef just for a while."

"Bah, just take the little eggplant away from my kitchen." barked Zeff, retreating to said kitchen. "He'll work until sunrise tonight!"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

"Nami-san, what are you talking about?" mumbled Vivi, not understanding her friend. "Making Crocodile fit here was the whole purpose of this planning! You said so yourself!"

"Yes, and I know that. But it's just pointless." Nami sighed, ran her fingers through her hair, and looked up. "The last name pronounced will be Nefertari, and there's the chance that he might run into your father at any moment after of before the ceremony."

"But... if we just keep him distracted."

"No, Vivi!" Nami nearly screamed.

The young woman looked up, slightly afraid, her eyes widened. Nami always raised her voice, but never at her. What was that all about? It pained Nami to be the one to tell her friend this, but she needed to know it.

"You can't live your whole life in a lie, Vivi. You need to be honest with Baroque Works, and with yourself. Aren't you proud of who you are?" her tone rose up even more. "Aren't you proud of being Nefertari Vivi?"

"Nam-"

"No? Because you should be! Nefertari Vivi is a million times better than Wednesday, and you need to go there and show Crocodile! Show him that it doesn't matter where you're from, you'll do his job perfectly right and be loyal to his enterprise. Why? Because that's just the kind-hearted, lovely, impossible-to-be-mad-at type of girl that you are!"

Both woman were impressed by the little speech. Nami, because she couldn't believe all those words had just came out of her mouth. She didn't understand exactly how, but those words had found their way out as if they were waiting to come out for a long time, as if she had been holding back. But now having said them, Nami felt satisfied with them, hoping they would knock some sense into Vivi.

And Vivi, because she knew she was right.

"What are you doing?" asked Nami as she saw her friend take a pencil and another sheet of paper.

"I'm doing the final list, the list of the invites I'm sending tomorrow." the other girl inform, her voice silghtly dry, as if she was struggling to hold back tears.

Nami watched her write names for the letter A. Then for the letter B. Her eyes widened greatly when she reached the letter C.

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

A man was a rare sighting at "The mermaid cove", since it was a store that sold wedding dresses, with the exception of wedding planners. But then again, most of those were women, and it was usually rare for them to accompany the bride or the bridesmaid to choose a dress. Men found the task 'tedious, pointless and extremely stupid'.

Sanji begged to disagree.

"Ah, this is paradise!" claimed the cook as he sat down on the brown couch in front of the fitting room.

"Sanji-kun, would you like some more cake?" offered one of the employees, a blonde young woman.

"I'll go bring another bottle of champagne, Sanji-sama." informed a redhead as she stood up.

"I think we should also bring some more catalogs." commented a third -equally gorgeous- employee, who's hair was dyed pink, standing up too.

"Mellorine!"

"Hm... Sanji-san, I think I'm ready to come out." Robin's voice came from the fitting room.

"Oh dear Robin-chan, whenever you're ready!"

Robin exited the room. Sanji forgot for a moment the champagne, the cake, the really hot woman who worked there; he forgot everything when he saw the brunette.

The dress she was trying was a light blue strapless, her big breasts supported the dress and kept it in place with great efficiency. It was made of silk, and she felt it soft and pleasant to wear, not to mention very comfortable. The lenght was up to her knees, finishing right above them in a smooth cut that revealed the rest of her slender legs to the world.

One look at it and everyone in the room knew it was just _perfect_.

"Oh, you look beautiful!" complimented the blonde employee left, as the other two returned with the champagne and catalogs.

"Even the bride herself will be jealous!" commented the redhead.

"I don't think we will be needing this anymore." mentioned the pinkette, leaving the catalogs aside.

"Why don't you turn around so we can watch the whole thing?" suggested the one who had spoken first.

Robin obeyed and gave a small spin so they could admire the back of her dress. It was just as amazing as the front was.

"You look really gorgeous!"

"And with the wedding during daytime, the light blue color should stand up more!"

"And we're not saying this just because we want you to buy it!"

"Of course." smiled Robin, not able to believe that last part. "What about you, Sanji-san? Do you like it or should we keep looking?"

The four woman looked at the cook. He looked as if he had forgotten to breathe, his eyes never leaving Robin's body, and his mouth open, the cigarette threatening to fall from his mouth.

"Robin-chan... that's just... it's perfect." Sanji tried to find his voice, but he couldn't find anything else to say. Damn, he had a million compliments in mind, but he couldn't even say them aloud!

What was the matter with him?

"I guess we'll be taking this one then." decided the historian, going back into the fitting room.

"We'll start preparing over the counter, how will you be paying?" asked the woman with pink hair.

"Um, credit card." mumbled the young assistant chef.

"Perfect. Come with the dress when you're ready." replied the red-haired one, and the three left the two of them alone.

Sanji made a few steps towards the fitting room's door and stood there as he waited for her to finish changing clothes. He took a drag of the cigarette and heard a giggle from the other side.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Sanji-san. I don't need a bodyguard outside."

"Ah, Robin-chan. I'm so sorry, my dear, I didn't mean to bother you!"

"It's alright, I think it's just part of your nature." she commented as she removed the dress completely and searched for her bra. "By the way, I hope I didn't get you into much trouble with chef-san at the Baratie. This could've been done any other day."

"Nah, it's just like that with the shitty geezer." said Sanji, not giving the matter much relevance. "He's been like that since I was just eight. I doubt he's going to change now."

"Oh, so you've known chef-san since your childhood?" finally being able to hook her bra properly, she now passed to her jeans.

"Yeah... actually, he's kind of my adoptive father, so..."

"Oh, I see." she mentioned. So that's how he got the job. Not that he lacked skill, but she knew getting to assistant chef could take years and Sanji looked to young for the place... that explained some thing. However, he had mentioned adoptive... "Chef-san took you in at the age of eight?"

"Yeah, it's a long story." commented the cook.

"Maybe you can tell me someday. If you would like, of course. Nami-chan says I'm a good listener."

"Of course you are! You're perfect in everything, Robin-chwan!" stated Sanji, abandoning all previous seriousness.

She chuckled at his antics; she had to admit that even if it seemed disturbing or annoying to other women, she didn't mind at all Sanji's attempt of flirting. In fact, she found it very amusing.

"Shall we leave, then?" asked Robin as she exited the room, now in her casual shirt and jeans, holding the selected dress on her hands.

"Of course, my angel!"

**oo00oo00oo00oo00oo**

Three days passed. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. During that time, Vivi had spent most of her time wondering what to do and if she had reached a decent conclusion. Those three days didn't change her mind.

She knew she had made the right decision.

"Miss Wednesday, you wanted to see me?" asked Crocodile as she entered her boss' office.

"Yes, sir. If you're not busy at the moment, that is."

"No, of course." he gave her a dark smile. "Is this about the invites? I found it odd that mine hasn't arrived yet..."

"Yes, it is about that." she took a breath to try not to faint right there and continued. "I'm sorry sir, but your invitation didn't get lost."

"Oh? It did not?" he looked confused. "How come?"

"It didn't get lost because it didn't exist. I know this may sound harsh but..." she looked down. "you're not invited to my wedding."

She closed her eyes forcefully, ready to hear yelling or insults or even receive something thrown at her. She knew the man's temper. She just hoped he didn't release the actual crocodiles...

The sound of clapping made her look up immediately with wide eyes.

"Ha! And I thought you wouldn't make it!" he kept clapping and a weird laugh escaped his lips. Wait, laugh? Crocodile _knew_ how to laugh?

"I'm sorry?" was the only thing she could mutter.

"I never intended to go to your wedding, Miss Wednesday." he informed her, lighting up a cigar. "I needed to see if you could stand up for what you believed in and uninvite me. And, surprisingly, you did it."

"Bu... but... why?" she stuttered, a bit too shocked with the whole situation to react otherwise.

"This enterprise takes care of big, powerful guys, they can be rough bullies and tough opponents... as commoners would put it, jerks." explained Crocodile. "I need a secretary who can hold her ground, not a whiny little cheerleader who just got out of high school. That's why you may keep your job."

Vivi thanked him for no apparent reason, made a bow and exited the place as quickly as possible. Damn this was going to be a long day now, she had already packed up the stuff to take from her desk!

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Ta da! There you go! I had too much fun writing this chapter, even if it took longer than expected, particularly the scene at the gym. Franky would be very amusing to watch in a gym full of people XD Did you like it? Hated it? Please tell me what you honestly think on your reviews, doesn't matter if your opinion is good or bad! I appreciate your feedback a lot, it's the only way I can improve and move this story towards your interests as readers :D

_Damn Starbucks and their ridiculously long waiting lines!_

Hell yeah, damn them! I went there the other day and it took half an hour to get just two cups of regular coffee! I swear, last time I'm going to Starbucks on a Sunday evening.

_Ah, Miss Wednesday..._

I know I said that this is set in Japan so everyone uses honorifics, but not Crocodile. It seemed a bit weird, so I had him adressing everyone with Miss or Mister like he does in the canon. Why? Because, in this fic, he's not japanese, he's foreigner (oh I'm such a genius! XDD) most probably italian, but still undecided about it...

_Hey, fire-bro! How's it..._

No, Ace's nickname doesn't come from his devil fruit this time. I should've probably explained back at chapter 3 that not only ha hangs around with Whitebeard but also works for the Whitebeard Firewords company, hence the nickname. Also, this was my first time writing Ace ever. Like, actually having him participate in the plot and talk and stuff. I think I did well this time, but I always found him one of the most difficult characters to write, because he's smart but isn't brilliant, he's mature but still acts goofy, he's polite but can yell and have his funny moments... ok, this got really long, let's move on XD

_Kaya said she would be taking care of everything today..._

Yes, Kaya and Chopper work together at the hospital. Initially she was going to be his student, but since she's not deadly sick and stuff (thanks to Usopp) I didn't see any reason why she wouldn't be able to be a doctor at the same level as Chopper, so there you go!

_...Rouge made a little mistake after..._

And so, a new love triangle for me to love is born. You know you love Dragon/Rouge/Roger ;) Plus, it made so much more sense since I needed Ace and Luffy to be actually blood-related... if Oda someday presents us Luffy's mother I'll hate myself for writing this, though XD

_...the dress she was trying was a light blue..._

This dress actually exists. I saw it with my own eyes. Last week I went to a store that sells wedding dresses, my elder brother's getting married (finally! 11 years dating her for god's sake!) and his fiancé was at home talking with my mom and I about the plans for the wedding and stuff, and she was going to see dresses now with a friend and asked us to join her. My mother had to pick up my sister later (we're a big family) so I went instead, and it's so much fun! The champagne, the cake, just like a movie! XD And when she tried the dress, I knew it would go perfectly with Robin's tan skin (she's a bit pale, which she hates XD) and I actually took a pic and everything! And we were able to find the perfect dress, it looked beautiful... I was almost as speechless as Sanji XD

_...much trouble with chef-san at the..._

Sounds like a nickname Robin would use for Zeff ;)

_...whiny little cheerleader who just got out of high school..._

Or in other words, my dad's new secretary. I went to visit him a couple of weeks ago, she has the most annoying voice I heard in my whole life! It just makes you want to strangle her! But of course, the big guys from the company wouldn't want that, because since she's a twenty year old blonde bimbo with Hancock-sized boobs she must stay in the company, even if she doesn't even know how to use a scanner properly *sighs*

My, that was a long author note. I hope you enjoyed the fic (and the rambling XD) and I guess I'll see you later! Oh, the next chapter is called "In which Nami wants to quit", which promises to be quite amusing as regards the SanRob dynamic... I'll see you there! Bye :D


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